urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly hold me closer tiny dancer Skyler 2007-11-13T00:05:36Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:71327 2007-11-13T00:05:36Z 2007-11-13T00:05:36Z I'm tired.<br />My knees have stopped working.<br />I'm not angry, just stressed.<br />Too much on my plate, only to be backed up by, "You can always say no."<br />When you're one of a small group of people who know how to do something, you can't just say no all the time.<br />Don't make it seem like my fault when I get hassled because a couple of my friends need help.<br />But then again, there's no point in talking about anything I have a problem with because it seems that having a problem with something is a problem.<br /><br />I can't wait to graduate.<br />that way, I'm at least getting paid more than minimum to deal with petty bullshit. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:71026 2007-09-03T05:11:31Z 2007-09-03T05:11:31Z sometimes it feels good to be treated like a dumb boy.<br />makes me feel better about enjoying design work so much. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:70850 2007-08-12T06:03:14Z 2007-08-12T06:03:14Z fact: i seem to have a problem with expressing what i really want urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:70602 2007-08-10T02:47:27Z 2007-08-10T02:47:27Z i feel like this is going to be an excellent year.<br />leaving birmingham without saying bye is always fun, not even kidding.<br />i move in saturday with awesome roommates.<br />staying at the BAM house is on the list of greatest things imaginable right now. so much positive energy.<br />i have a whole room to organize now, and if you know how much i love organization, you know that i'm ecstatic.<br />i'm tired, and won't sleep well tonight, but i don't even care.<br />auburn at 10:00 tomorrow. <br />so it begins... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:70377 2007-08-01T02:39:54Z 2007-08-01T02:39:54Z i don't care about the passing it on thing<br /><br />7 RANDOM QUIRKS/FACTS ABOUT MYSELF<br /><br />random medical fact: my parents were told i would die before i was 13 by my allergist...bitch<br /><br />random fear : inbreds<br /><br />random medical fact: prior to surgery, i was always extremely insecure about my sleep apnea. i'm still hesitant to sleep around other people, because i don't know if it's been fixed, i don't hear myself sleep<br /><br />random consumer fact: i'm an excellent shopping buddy, though my own clothing would never suggest it<br /><br />random personal fact: sometimes, i need to be smacked and told to shut up for speaking worrisome nonsense<br /><br />random food fact: dunkin donuts is so much better than krispy kreme<br /><br />random personal fact: moulin rouge makes me cry. i am a romantic, sue me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:69981 2007-07-15T19:26:39Z 2007-07-15T19:26:39Z today was the first time that i actually swam during an adult swim...<br />big day urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:69871 2007-07-11T01:37:46Z 2007-07-11T01:37:46Z this post is just a temporary emotional outlet, so most of you should probably just move on, because no one likes to hear that...<br /><br /><br />Things I do when it gets to be too much...<br />Draw<br />Write<br />Organize<br />Sketch tattoos<br />Get tattooed<br />Shave my head<br />Buy dumb things<br />Work<br />Eat icecream<br /><br />Haven't been able to do any of this during the summer, aside from ice cream and working myself to death. Sadly, my ice cream was all eaten when I tore the freezers apart looking for it today.<br /><br />I am overly emotional, and fully aware of it. Perhaps not overly emotional, I just keep them mostly to myself.<br />That is how I choose to be, because I don't want to risk hurting anyone or getting awkward responses that make people pull away. I don't tell people when they make me angry enough, because most of them won't understand. I don't tell people I love them enough, praying that they'll just know. Hoping that I don't just come off as a prick half the time.<br /><br />I decided that it is better if I keep my emotions private, so that no one has a reason to complain, because emotions seem to be a problem these days. Eventually I might suck it up and tell people how I really feel, but I doubt it.<br /><br />Monica, Becky, Stew, Will, Ash, and Tait, you are the best collective of people I have ever known. None of you have a clue how much I love you, and how much your friendship means to me. I won't go into details, because the details aren't as important as the facts. <br /><br />I don't even know if I'm whining or not right now. Honestly, I don't give a damn &lt;3<br />Thanks. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:69379 2007-06-24T02:20:08Z 2007-06-24T02:20:08Z this summer has been nice, but i can't wait to have my own living space again. i can't get anything done, especially anything creative when there is nothing remotely close to MY OWN space. i'm okay for a couple of days, but after a month, it's just depressing having 2 people to hang out with within 2 and a half to 4 hours. <br />can't wait for class to start again. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:69123 2007-06-23T02:59:24Z 2007-06-23T02:59:24Z i worked 10 hours overtime this period. <br />i've been hanging in the air so long, the ground feels werid.<br />i hurt like hell.<br />becky's wisdom teeth removal was a success.<br />this is been an excellent summer.<br />not even kidding.<br />&lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:69117 2007-06-18T00:13:49Z 2007-06-18T00:13:49Z this weekend was most excellent<br /><br />+ no traffic on the way home from work<br />- too dirty to hug becky when showing up at her house<br />+ shaving = big success<br />+ suckin on a chilli dog, outside the tastee freez (though i actually ordered a burger)<br />+ music and lyrics<br />- my right leg pretty much doesn't function properly<br />+ sharks teeth<br />- becky owned me<br />+ lowes<br />+ bracelet = finished<br />+ tribond is effin sweet<br />+ didn't have to drive home in a retarded sleepy state<br />+ owning at fooseball<br />- beans on the steak nachos (no me gusta el hiatal hernia or whatever i have)<br />+ shrek 3<br />+ becky reed = amazing<br /><br />aside from being a cripple, excellent weekend urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:68769 2007-05-23T03:46:22Z 2007-05-23T03:46:22Z so...i don't really touch my lj anymore.<br />i think i'm quite okay with that.<br />things have been exceptionally wonderful lately.<br /><br />oh, and i'm currently living in virginia? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:68496 2007-05-02T17:17:57Z 2007-05-02T17:17:57Z so rendering is really the only thing stressing me out now, as far as the next several months go.<br />i'm upset that my friends will be 8 to a thousand hours away, but that is something i can't help.<br />i'm just glad that i finally found people in auburn that are worth being around, who don't want to drink every time you hang out.<br /><br />I'm definately happy. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:68311 2007-04-22T05:28:06Z 2007-04-22T05:28:06Z i'm moving to tampa for the summer in just over 2 weeks...anyone know of a place to live?<br />finding someone to rent for the summer at this point has been a tad difficult.<br /><br />everything else is amazing urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:67973 2007-04-18T04:56:35Z 2007-04-18T04:56:35Z &lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:67617 2007-04-09T04:57:40Z 2007-04-09T04:57:40Z just so everyone knows, this was the best birthday weekend ever.<br />the end. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:67372 2007-04-06T17:30:39Z 2007-04-06T17:30:39Z just watched chip and dale: rescue rangers, tailspin, and goof troop. <br />excellent start to the birthday weekend. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:67222 2007-04-06T05:16:55Z 2007-04-06T05:16:55Z i give the last 24 hours an A + urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:66829 2007-03-31T23:55:00Z 2007-03-31T23:55:00Z this week was wonderful.<br />usually i don't say enough...but i think i talk too much sometimes. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:66670 2007-03-22T05:00:35Z 2007-03-22T05:00:35Z i have a habit of working myself to death.<br />i mostly do it so that i don't have to confront my actual feelings.<br />essentially, i live a double life. or rather, my life is split in half, and i am only living half of my life.<br />i'll take a few minutes to unload soon, i hope.<br />can't keep this up.<br />no good. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:66512 2007-03-16T05:20:43Z 2007-03-16T05:20:43Z well, i'm slowly learning to talk again... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:66067 2007-03-11T08:20:16Z 2007-03-11T08:20:16Z i've been sober for one month, as of the 10th (yesterday).<br />this is how it should be. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:66018 2007-03-10T12:53:46Z 2007-03-10T12:53:46Z so it's 6:30, and it turns out, cow and chicken is still kind of on the air.<br />stewby slept in this morning, when we woke up and realized everyone was gone.<br />he definately needed to be up at 4:30 to be in atl.<br />o well, he'll be fine.<br />wish i could've at least stayed awake for a bit last night, but i won't pretend i wasn't ridiculously exhausted urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:65631 2007-03-05T02:35:42Z 2007-03-05T02:35:42Z nights like that remind me that everything will work out, one way or another, but in the end, lizzie mcguire is kind of a floozy. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:65339 2007-03-04T10:35:08Z 2007-03-04T10:35:08Z i don't care that all i do here is complain lately but it's not like i'll do it anywhere else.<br />i can't manage to really talk to the people i want to talk to anyway, so why bother.<br /><br />i'm sick of doing only what i think is best.<br />i am always holding back.<br />i hold back how i feel about people and situations.<br />lately, it's rendered me fairly awkward and useless.<br />once i feel i should give up on something, suddenly i feel like i it would be a mistake.<br />and i honestly don't think i can talk about it, which makes things even worse.<br />either things will move in an excellent direction, or i'll screw up something very important to me.<br />stay tuned, i guess.<br /> <br />i've given up a lot of things recently, which has helped give me a great deal of clarity.<br />tonight was definately needed in order to give me an ounce of hope for myself. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kilingyousoftly:65040 2007-03-03T03:41:45Z 2007-03-03T03:41:45Z i read weird girl's myspace.....ahahahahahahhaaahah!